Today I wore a sweater. Over a long-sleeved shirt.
The trio was scheduled to play at the market at 11:30. Usually I go earlier (market starts at 9) and play solo until they arrive, but today I didn’t leave my house until after ten, when the temperature passed 50. I even wore my fingerless gloves, in case lake breezes made market temperatures even cooler than up here on the hill.
I’m feeling a bit “off” on this first sweater day.
Perhaps some of it is the change in seasons.
Very little is lingering unease about that concert I wrote about previously; the act of writing about it was cathartic and helped dissipate some of the intensity of it.
Some of it I think was related to performance concerns: I need to remember that audiences can’t read my mind, and so I need to remember to smile sometimes and make eye contact, and try to get my body language to convey my enjoyment of the music — but it’s a bit exhausting to be mindful of that sort of thing while playing.
Some of it may well be related to planning my own concert: the excitement of celebrating five years of playing this amazing instrument, mixed with insecurity and loneliness and the hard work of planning a structured event, including logistics like renting chairs, organizing refreshments, and thinking about the “stage” set up.